workings
when the machine runs out of oil,
there is no more machine,
just an ornamental structure.
we could probably get a few more grinds out of it
if we turned it off and on again,
but it wouldn't do the motor any good.
there's a man underneath the railway bridge
with a host of old devices,
all rusted pistons and welded axles;
he's mournfully proud of them.
'run like dreams' he mumbles,
drumming on their hollow metal sides.
Saturday, 17 October 2009
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I read this on your blog, and then again on here, and now I know what it's about I like it much better. Perhaps the title could reflect your intentions for the subject a bit better? Or work in some indication that you're talking about relationships, because I think it's a great metaphor and lovely image, but personally, I got no hint from the poem itself what it was really 'about'.
ReplyDelete'Coincidence of scrap' is great - not words you would usually place together, so they're striking, but at the same time make absolute sense.
cheers jess. i think this title works better (?). still working on this.
ReplyDeletei liiiiiiiiiike
ReplyDelete'coincidence of scrap' is ace indeed.
maybe 'ornamental structure' could be changed a bit to reflect that it did once have a use though?
also love the repetition of 'when the machine runs out of oil, there is no more machine'.